Why doesn't God talk in the past tense? Because He's the great I AM.
That's joke number one of God's Dad Jokes, and if it made you groan and grin at the same time, congratulations — you've found your people. This is a pillar of clean, scripture-rooted humor for parents, grandparents, teachers, and anyone who believes the Bible can make you laugh as easily as it makes you cry.
Below are 12 of our favorite Bible dad jokes, hand-picked from the 100+ in the book. Read them at the dinner table. Share one at small group. Text one to your dad. Then keep scrolling for the story of how this whole thing started.
12 Bible Dad Jokes the Whole Family Will Love
1. The Great I AM
Why doesn't God talk in the past tense?
Because He's the great I AM.
Exodus 3:14
2. Baby John the Baptist
What did Elizabeth say when John leaped in her womb?
That ain't gas!
Luke 1:44
3. Need a Boat?
If you ever need help with your boat, I Noah guy.
Genesis 6
4. Moses, Floating
When Moses's mom put him in the basket, she was really in de-Nile.
Exodus 2:3
5. Sodom & Gomorrah, Pt. 1
Sodom and Gomorrah really went down in flames.
Genesis 19
6. Sodom & Gomorrah, Pt. 2
I want to tell more jokes about Sodom and Gomorrah, but there's nothing there.
Genesis 19
7. Cain & Abel
Why didn't Cain please God?
It's because he wasn't willing, not because he wasn't Abel.
Genesis 4
8. Knock, Knock
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I washed my feet?
9. The Fiery Furnace
What's Jesus's favorite spice blend?
Shadrach, Meshach, and oregano.
Daniel 3
10. Reviewing the Gospels
When Jesus reviewed the Gospels, He started with John. He sat on a Matt, Luked it over, and Marked it up.
11. The Angel of Death
What did the Jews say to the angel of death?
We'll take a Pass-Over here.
Exodus 12
12. Holy Smokes
What's another name for Chariots of Fire?
Holy Smokes.
2 Kings 2
These Are God's Jokes. We Just Wrote Them Down.
Here's the story, in the author's own words:
On January 6, 2025, I prayed for a project — something that would honor God and bring joy into a world that had grown a little too serious. The next morning, the first joke arrived. Then another. Then another. Within two weeks I had a hundred of them.
I didn't write these jokes so much as receive them. They came the way good gifts come — unearned, a little surprising, often while I was doing dishes. My family is the first audience for every one, and if a joke didn't earn a groan from my husband or a giggle from my kids, it didn't make the book.
What I love about these jokes is that they do something rare: they make the Bible feel like a place you'd actually want to hang out. Scripture is full of joy. It's full of wit. It's full of a God who delights in His people. These jokes are a small invitation to remember that.
So please — steal them. Tell them at the dinner table. Drop one in a sermon. Text one to your dad. These are God's jokes. We just wrote them down.
— S. S. Coulter
Why These Jokes Work
The best Bible dad jokes do three things at once:
- They land scripturally. Every one of these is anchored to a real verse. The "great I AM" joke is theology in seven words. "I Noah guy" is Genesis 6 with a wink. You don't have to choose between reverent and funny.
- They're genuinely clean. No edge, no shock, no setup you'd have to scrub before reading it to your kids. These are jokes you'd be comfortable telling in the church lobby, the carpool line, or right before grace.
- They invite a second look. A good pun on Exodus 12 ("we'll take a Pass-Over here") is also a tiny little Bible study. Kids ask, "Wait, what's Passover?" And suddenly the joke has done the work of ten devotionals.
That's the whole reason this book exists: laughter is a doorway back to scripture.
A Father's Day Gift That Actually Gets Used
Father's Day is June 14, 2026 — just a few weeks away. If you're tired of giving ties, mugs, and gift cards your dad will forget by July, here's a different idea.
God's Dad Jokes is built to be gifted. The inside cover has a "Dear ___ / From ___" inscription page, so it becomes a keepsake the second you sign it. It's:
- For dads who want fresh material that won't embarrass anyone
- For Sunday School teachers who need a hook that gets kids into the Word
- For grandparents who want to read with the grandkids and actually be the funny one
- For anyone who believes faith and laughter belong on the same shelf
The book is over 100 clean Christian dad jokes and Bible puns, illustrated by Fernando Medina with cartoon angels you'll actually want to frame. It's a gift that gets re-read, re-told, and re-gifted — the rare book that earns a permanent spot on the coffee table.
Get God's Dad Jokes →
Ships in time for Father's Day · Personalized inscription page included
One Last Joke (Because We Can't Help Ourselves)
Why did the scarecrow get promoted at the Bible bookstore?
Because he was outstanding in his field of theology.
Okay, that one's not in the book. But the other hundred-plus are — and they're waiting for you.
Written by S. S. Coulter, children's author and founder of Good God Productions, writing from Carmel, Indiana. Illustrations by Fernando Medina. God's Dad Jokes is available now.