6 Effective Ways to Help Kids Overcome Worry

“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?”

Take a minute and really think about that. Has worrying ever actually added anything valuable to your life?

I feel pretty confident saying that it hasn’t. Sure, preparing for something important can be a great thing, but worrying about it? Not so much. Worrying about the future is just anxiety in disguise!

Feelings of worry can be a good thing when used to alert us to pay attention. We can feel the anxiety, acknowledge it, face it, and tackle the situation. The issue is when we let worry sink in and stop us from taking action. So, how can we teach our kids to handle worry in a healthy way?

Here are 6 ways to tackle worry (and even make it productive!):

1. Acknowledge Anxiety – But Don’t Empower It

Worry might seem irrational to someone not feeling it, but for the person experiencing it? It makes complete sense. That’s why dismissing your child’s worry with a quick “Oh, don’t worry about it!” won’t help. It’s important to understand, though, that validation doesn’t mean agreement here.

Worry triggers an alarm in the brain that makes us feel at risk – even when we aren’t. Try validating your child’s feelings while helping her separate perceived danger from real danger.

💡 Try this: When your child shares a fear, listen, acknowledge, and then help her see the truth. Instead of saying, “That’s silly, you have nothing to worry about,” try: “I hear you. Let’s talk about what’s really happening here.”

This approach validates her emotions without reinforcing the fear.

2. Externalize the Worry (Give It a Name!)

The more we listen to fear as if it’s true, the stronger it gets. Help your child learn to talk back to and challenge his worries instead of obeying them.

💡 Try this: Encourage your child to give his worry a silly name. Maybe it’s “Mean Face” or “Bossy Bob.” Once he names it, he can challenge it: “Mean Face, I’m not listening to you! You’re lying! Go away!”

Externalizing worry helps kids realize they are in control – not their anxious thoughts.

3. Just Breathe

It sounds too simple, but breathing exercises are powerful. When we slow our breathing, we send a calm-down signal to both our brain and body.

💡 Try this: Teach your child to take a slow breath in for five seconds… hold it… and exhale for five seconds. Repeat a few times and watch how it helps shift focus away from worry.

It's amazing what just a few deep breaths can do!

4. Shift Their Attention

When worry takes over, our thoughts can get stuck in a loop. Instead of feeding anxious thoughts, help your child shift to more positive emotions he’s feeling at the same time.

💡 Try this: Ask: “What’s something good happening right now?” or “What’s something that makes you feel happy?”

Redirecting his focus helps disrupt the worry cycle.

5. Encourage Kids to Face Their Worries

The best way to tackle a fear is to face it. Let your child know you are proud of the work it takes to tolerate anxiety to do what she wants or needs to do. This way, you are encouraging her to engage in life and to let the anxiety drop over time as she continues to have contact with the stressor.

💡 Try this: If your child is scared of something (like talking to new people or swimming in the deep end), help her take small steps to face that fear instead of avoiding it completely.

She might not be 100% comfortable right away – but that’s okay. The goal is to tolerate worry while doing what needs to be done. Over time, fear fades.

6. Talk About Worries When Your Child Is Calm

It is better to talk about your child’s anxiety when he is relaxed, not during episodes of intense worry. This will allow for clearer thinking and better receptivity.

💡 Try this: Set aside calm moments to talk about fear. Ask:

• “What does your worry say to you?”
• “What do you think is really happening?”
• “What’s something you could tell yourself next time?”

This builds self-awareness and gives your child tools to use when worry shows up again.

WRAP UP: Prepare for – don’t worry about

When it comes to future events, I like to say: “Don’t worry about it – prepare for it.” If I’m prepared, I don’t need to worry. Simple, right? But making that shift takes practice – not just for us as adults, but for our kids too. Let's take the 6 steps above and apply them to the "prepare for" mind set, so kids can be confident. If your child is worried about a future event (be it a test, a game or a social gathering) have him:

• Acknowledge his fear and discuss what is really going on – perhaps he needs to practice or study more.
• Externalize the worry – if he’s all prepared and still facing anxiety, he can name the worry and tell “Worry Wart” that’s he’s full of it and to take a hike!
• Just breathe – he can keep himself calm by doing some calming breathing exercises before and during the event.
• Shift attention – what about the test, game, or social gathering is positive? Can the test improve his grade, is the game something he enjoys playing, is the social gathering with people he likes to hang out with? These are the fun things to focus on instead of his worry.
• Face the worry – he’s prepared, he's named his fear, he's taken his deep breaths, he's focusing on the positive side. Now he can dive in, see how it goes, and next time, he will face it with more strength!
• Talk about it/Reflect back on it – once it’s over, go over the steps above, what worked and didn’t – and he will be all that more self-aware and confident when worry shows up again.

What an incredible skill to teach our kids – and to use ourselves!

Remember the quote we started with? “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?”

That’s straight from Luke 12:25 – and I’d say Jesus knew what He was talking about!

Worrying doesn’t add to our lives – it only takes away. So let’s teach our kids to acknowledge their fears, challenge anxious thoughts, and move forward with confidence. After all, they are stronger than their worries.

For more on helping kids tackle worry and anxiety:

What to Do (and Not Do) When Children Are Anxious by Child Mind Institute

How to Talk to Kids About Outsmarting Worry by Dr. Robyn

Helping kids recognise and manage anxiety is a first step in building resilience by The Parenting Partnership