6 Ways to Love Difficult People

We all have times when those around us are being difficult. In some cases, we only need to interact with these people sparingly, but in other cases, these people may be a constant presence in our lives. So for our wellbeing and theirs, it is good to learn how to cope – and even thrive – in our relationships with them. This is an ability we can teach our kids too.

Let’s look at 6 ways to love people when they are being difficult:

1. Don’t take it personally. Realize that most the time when someone's being hard on you, it mostly like has nothing to do with you. Remember, much of the pain and frustration we experience from others stems from their own inner struggles. When people are suffering, that pain often finds an outlet – and unfortunately, it often lands on those around them.
   
2. Give the benefit of the doubt. When someone is hurtful toward us, we often immediately take offense. Take a moment to breathe. Try to figure out why people are being difficult. Is it something simple? Have they not eaten, are they tired, is there something bad going on in their day? Sometimes the simplest thing can fix a difficult person.
   
3. Pray for them. This reinforces Number 1 and 2. The Bible says we do not wrestle against flesh and blood. Remember, you are never looking into the eyes of someone God doesn't love. When you're dealing with someone who is difficult, move the person aside and deal with the demon that's making them act that way. Pray against the situation, the depression, the pain that’s hurting them so they can stop hurting others.
   
4. Focus on the things you do love about the person. What are the traits about this person that are easy to love? Maybe she's grumpy and crochety a lot of the time, but does she tell incredible jokes? Reflect on the positive.
   
5. Walk away. If things get too heated, walk away, breathe, and pray for grace toward the person (and for yourself!). Although throwing an immediate “jab” may feel good in the moment, it’s so much better to calm yourself down and come back with a clear head than to immediately confront the person and end up saying something you regret.
   
6. Remember, you can be difficult sometimes too. Enough said.

Some of these may seem really hard, but please remember that whatever the Lord has commanded us (love your neighbor, pray for your enemies), He gives us the grace to do! Also remember how appreciative you are when you’re the one that needs forgiveness for being difficult!

Here are more resources on loving difficult people:

How to Love People Who Are Hard to Love - Part 1 by Joyce Meyer Ministries

Loving Difficult People by desiringGod

How to Love Difficult People in 5 Easy-to-Follow Steps by Share the Struggle