Teaching Kids Love Over Fear: 5 Helpful Habits

Love Is the Opposite of Fear

Fear has really been “selling” in recent years. It’s certainly effective because if you scare people enough, they’ll often take actions they never imagined to avoid the thing(s) they fear. It's a powerful motivator. However, there’s an even more powerful remedy that can dispel fear and reveal its true insignificance: LOVE.

Let’s take a look at the fruits of fear to understand why love is its true antidote:

• Fear leads to jealousy and envy. We fear that someone will be more successful than us, or have nicer things than us, or have more friends than us. Love is gratitude for the things we do have and joy for others’ accomplishments.

• Fear leads to dependency. We fear we cannot be happy without another person. Love is encouraging others to reach their own independence and being happy as we watch them grow, even if this means growing apart from us.

• Fear leads to pride, doubt, and lashing out. We fear being vulnerable and hurt by others so do the hurting first. Love is letting go of our ego, being open to vulnerability, and learning to trust.

• Fear leads to anger. We fear someone has wronged us or is taking advantage of us. Love is the ability to let things go and be slow to take offense.

• Fear leads to inactivity. We fear something bad may happen or we will fail and embarrass ourselves so we’d rather not even try. Love doesn’t look at sickness or failure as defeat. It never gives up.

We often hear 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 about love read at weddings (“Love it patient, love it kind…”). I've included a few different translations of this scripture below that you may have never heard. Take a few moments to look at them so you can really take in the beauty of love and how it stands in contrast to fear:

Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 TPT)

Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not want what belongs to others. It does not brag. It is not proud. It does not dishonor other people. It does not look out for its own interests. It does not easily become angry. It does not keep track of other people’s wrongs. Love is not happy with evil. But it is full of joy when the truth is spoken. It always protects. It always trusts. It always hopes. It never gives up. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIRV)

Why It's Essential to Teach Our Kids About Love

As adults, one of the most crucial things we can do for children – both now and in their future – is to teach them to choose love over fear. When people lack love and self-care, they may lash out and harm others, leading to behaviors ranging from classroom bullying to more severe actions.

It is our responsibility to ensure our children not only experience love but also understand how to give it. This foundation of love can help them navigate their emotions and interactions more compassionately and constructively.

Here are 5 ways to teach kids to choose love over fear each day:

1. Practice Gratitude: Focus on the things they are thankful for each day.
2. Celebrate Others: Take joy in the achievements of those around them and cheer them on.
3. Embrace Forgiveness: Let go of grudges and move on from hurt. This releases their mind to concentrate on the more positive things in life.
4. Encourage Vulnerability: One of the best things you can teach children is to laugh at themselves. Not taking oneself or life too seriously is one of the most freeing things a person can do - and it helps people be able to love themselves and others that much more.
5. Choose Empathy Over Judgment: Instead of criticizing others, strive to understand their perspectives. This practice helps foster appreciation of each other's differences.

Love is a big deal. Fear is a big steal. Let’s teach kids love so they get the best out of themselves, their lives, and others. Here are some resources and activities to teach kids about love:

5 Activities that Teach Children about Love by MindChamps

10 Hands-On Activities to Teach Children about Love by Moments a Day

Ally Cat, the second book in my children's activity book series The Fassa Tails, teaches “Love makes all the difference”

Other resources on choosing love over fear:

The Power of Love: Why Choosing Love Over Fear Changes Everything by Positive Change Today

Choose Love Over Fear by The Gottman Institute